Mission be Lucky ..Confidential Diary
why am I writing this so that any fool can read it? , well the c 1/A and their local buddies read all y-our private mail anyway, so at least this makes sure MY version goes public..
Prelude,.,,lets dream of dancing like I had in the past with a beautful woman, who trusted me , even long enough to dance..;) I had done this and felt this many time , but never enough to have lost the magic, like in the "scent of a woman" but before leaving PG, instead of being "ChriS SmitH" I almost became "Smith's crisp" ;)
08/09/2011, 06:41
Be Lucky Diary *CS
why am I writing this so that any fool can read it? , well the c 1/A and their local buddies read all y-our private mail anyway, so at least this makes sure MY version goes public..
Prelude,.,,lets dream of dancing like I had in the past with a beautful woman, who trusted me , even long enough to dance..;) I had done this and felt this many time , but never enough to have lost the magic, like in the "scent of a woman" but before leaving PG, instead of being "ChriS SmitH" I almost became "Smith's crisp" ;)
fire outside the house, a couple of metres away from the building, bit of drama,
owner downstairs using hosepipe to keep it away from catching our building on fire, firetruck coming down the road, just a normal "monty night" ;)- RECENT ACTIVITY
The Tango dance scene from the movie Scent Of A Woman (1992) where Pacino plays a blind retired Lieutenant Colonel. This is the only time when Al received hi...
08/09/2011, 06:41
"Mission Be LuckY" via RED "monty-car-lo…an"..
Henri Suggested it and Yes I needed a change of scenery and even if the "Promise" of Very friendly women, (and I ave a list of broken promises enough to make a book of ite own) was enough to risk my monthly budgt on this "Mission Be Lucky" to Banja Luka, and who knows if I return, if I find that woman, or if I just don’t survive, I feel "careless" as I wrote this lasy goodbye note..Before I left Pg
And I don’t even know when or if u get this email, with those comms being blocked, its blocking "Lets Be Fair" and so many ppl say they don’t get my stuff or get their messages anymore.. (anyway often I feel I am writing more more self-clarification, than to expect any reaction )
I am getting ready to leave, on "mission Be Lucky" .. not sure (apart from LetS Be Fair) if I should come back..who really cares if I do?
I had many dreams and "lady fantasy" and "entrapment" are themes reflected..
As I sit here getting ready for "mission be lucky" ..and wonder if I should return..
Looking back on about 6 months, and the short , sweet & sour meetings..highs & lows
A BIG "High" was one spontaneous night at the irish pub, (is it now closed?) we made a lot of jokes, told stories, laughed a lot, felt warm & close to you, we walked to my place arm in arm, a bit drunk. U slept on my couch , in the morning, I felt protective towards you, trust & close to you
The lows; how quickly U changed after leaving me…my b-day when u need to be reminded that u had promised to come early, (and get "stay and get drunk with me, even if no-one else comes" ) and u left when sandra called , like any time..When u lied about reason 4 having to leave me to meet sandra the last time after I spent all day making dinner for us after not seeing u for weeks...When u patted my back,as u left in the taxi, drinking rakija near the bus stop, after the last time we "made up" ..(again after a month apart) ...When u didn’t have 5 minutes to listen to my idea to help u..(even if u didn’t want it!)
But, I am trying to drown those….with more Highs..a couple of nights when we played billiards(pool) & @ harrisons twice..and even when u turned my "crazy marriage proposal" down in chinese restaurant, because I realised I COULD love a woman again that much, even after what Linda, Annika, Margit, Josee etc did..and I did(do) love you..in a strange way..but very deep..
We could have had it all , even for a short time, because I need-ed to show you what love really is..i wont explain my feelings to you, or about you, or what I see in you, in an email, its not "obsession" or addiction but magnetic..i am drawn back to you, each time you or I pull away..i am reminded of you..(so this mission may BREAK it?)
I could manage the whole planet, but I cant manage without you..
we should have taken more time to know each other, I hoped that was possible in Lp, it "maybe" still is.?
ChriSx
Sms 08h
"sent last email, don’t know if or when u get it,its sincere, I am sorry, really do care about & miss u, even if its too much, safe journey, take care of U, ChriS"
I was getting packed wednesday morn, and Dino asked me to lock the doors, trouble with the neighbours or does he thing fires respects "security" ?? ha ha
11h Mission Be lucky?
12h met H .. paid coffees at Forma & the *Hertz? a fitting name for an emotional journey?) Rental guys picked us up to take us to pick up the "Monty-CAR-LO.an" Rental e189 and fuel e33 pg Cro 41 mazda 2
its RED//!!!
we travelled through the balkans ,& in Trebinje) stopping for a n hour a seemingly untouched area, of "green desert"often driving for longe periods without seeing people or traffic, this war torn area, seems always on the bring ..of "flames"
====
Today's Horoscope
You can’t really get a grasp of what’s going on unless you experiment and see what you can do to change the situation. Experiential learning is where it’s at for now, so make sure that you’re trying things for yourself..
Angie is a RED! |
arrived 21 h had a pizza with H, he went off to find his girlfriend, I dream of maybe the last lady in my life... <smile> SHE has to be a RED...will i meet her in "Be Lucky" where there are so many?
or this left footy could play In MY team, anytime |
24h (W!)
To A.M (no, not THAT "A.M>" but the other "nice" A.M who i met in Lp last time...)
"
a. please understand what I write now, don’t react, because I am thinking how I can say this carefully without closing our contact.. Since we met in Lp, I had the feeling u were morethan another Lfc fan, and a true Reds supporters, I still feel that, and I I felt u also wanted to be more than just another "friend" on FB
..I send u my blogs and talkED to you intimately, but your recent comments showed me that you only "skimmed" the personal comments contained within, (I know, because u are busy!) in the last several weeks u have been too busy, that’s life, I get it""" u are now like everyone else, everyones busy.all the time in a world that’s sinking fast..everyone is working or partying and running around on the top deck of the titanic even though it hit the iceberg a long time ago
...i wonder if they really need to be "busy", they got caught in the box, and cant get themselves out of it, but there it is..I have tried to explain to people that they don’t have to be so busy, but no one is listening to my know-how and experience (I managed european enterprise without emails, mobiles computers nor internet by only going into the office 4-6 hrs a day nearly thirty years ago as a very young man, I already knew how to do this, instinctively, without university or college education, its simply, but everyone is so,so, busy, they don’t take the time to understand how NOT to be "busy busy busy" I KNOW u have "obligations"
b. Really u DON’T have to make me feel bad by reminding me that YOU have family, friends and stuff people that u care for and who care for u, whatever problems that may be or bring.....we keep talking about a meeting, but like so many things it doesn’t happen, that’s not AIMED at you, just the way it,with everyone else, too, I come from a different planet, and I want to leave this one, soon...
, culturally & psychologically I am ODD to everyone..i mean EVERYONE!!!! ..i came to B.Luka, (making the joke, that I could "Be luckY" in B.Luka) ;)
…..but its just for a change of scenery, but of course THERE wont be a good time, because there WONT be a friend to share with and that’s been true for most of my life....because "friends"
..TRUE friends, who are there when I NEED, don’t exist, that’s just the way it is, ( I KNOW its pointless complaining, and I am writing this for me , not you) and as much as u may feel that sending me a message "have a great time and have a drink for me" helps, me, it doesnt, & is ok ..it isnt, not because YOU are wrong, but because I wont , because, as I told u before , I don’t want or need sympathy, or to be "placated"
... I just want someone in my life who "understands,ME" so please don’t treat me like everyone else does…with a verbal "pat on the head" …if this is insulting to you, I am sorry because I LOVE & respectED you, in a deep way..and empathise with your situation, and would support u, fight & die for you because u stood up and told your story against the fools..but I can only be me, and if hate me for saying this, then I am sorry, its just honest, bye! x"
Across the street the river runs. Down in the guter life is slipping away. Let me still exist in another place, Running down under cover Of a helicopter blad...
THursday 8th Sept..
unsettled Night as people coming late at night and leaving early stopped me from a goodnights sleep (its a reason i came to dsilike the business travels when i stayed so many times when i stayed in hotels around the world as a "wizz-Kid" .. i had a coffee at hertz caffe (staying in hertz hotel) and then H eventualy came form Natasa to meet and we had a local (tasty) kebab before having a few drinks until Natasa , Jelena & Maja arrived.. we had a walk around the city then I left H with the girls to have a needed siesta before going out..but H txted later to say he had a fever..so ..i'm in , writing this ;)
Friday (9/11)
16,20h … "The first "Mission Be lucky" casualty.."H" got hit by an obvious c 1/A virus/sinus/fever last night, unable to fulfill duties, went to picturesque riverside venue (Vrbas) this afternoon - to re-organise and discuss "wag the dog" tactics.. ;)
Thoughts of the day ; There were no "Rwanda memorials for a million + africans killed by genocide whilst the world watched, or for all the natives wiped out so the uSA could build the "land of the Free" or for those innocent victims in the Balkans not so long ago, and whilst 25,000 kids die daily because their "new world order" spends more on weapons in one year than it would to stop all people dying of starvation or disease for all time..when these issues are deal with in a positive way for the benefit of humanity, then I will sympathise with the true victims of "9/11"
by ChriS SmiTH on Saturday, 10 September 2011 at 23:07
From Mission Be (un)lucky to Mostar..not a bridge too far?
10/09/2011, 22:22
Left "B(un)lucky".for Mostar ... I had joined with H and his girl Natasa, her sister Ivana jelena & Maja (not her mum) and a couple of lads joined us by the castle, there was a rock concert inside the castle, we were just outside the walls close enough to hear the music, but far emnough away that Hentry & I could sing our own songs..;)
I left them when some lads came , wthout manners, as I might have been tempted to "correct" them.. ;)
Woke friday at 07h and H & I left at around 09,30 ,and at exactly 14h (as planned) we parked by the massive church tower in Mostar, a walk through the old town market to "the bridge" and saw "the bridge" and I told Cigor & H, that I would jump for at least fifty euros (worth of Rakija!)
…a tasty kebab then we went to watch the game, with Ivan and a couple of other lads, Although the sick H decided to lay out in the car during the game, I really felt sorry for him ..and decided to leave mostar after the game, turning down the not-yet-offered sexy mostar ladies Cigor told me are "friendly" mind u I hadnt yet even tested any in B.Lucky …so…how do I know what I might have "missed"? ;)
dispite Lfc domination..(stoke only had one effort on goal for the pen?) we often looked like 11 players just thrown togther, missed chances, another blind ref and a dubious penalty against..
so, its been (yet another!) one of those "times"///... confirmed.... as I drove the last part of the 900kms round trip, some c*nt came over the white line , driving in the opposite direction , wiped out my left wing mirror, if hed been a bit "wider" he might have wiped me out too..
That is the 2nd "life threat" this week (the fire within a few metres of the house Tuesday) .. Maybe I am "lucky" after all… ;)
Links to other thinks U can laugh at or disagree with ;
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